


With Friends Like These

by BookofOdym



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Justice League International (Comics)
Genre: Anal Gaping, Barebacking, Creampie, M/M, Sloppy Seconds, Ted gets absolutely destroyed by Kilowog's massive alien cock, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofOdym/pseuds/BookofOdym
Summary: When Hal finds out that Guy has feelings for Blue Beetle and plans on telling him soon, he does what any good friend would do in this situation:He decides to fuck Ted first and leave Guy with the sloppy seconds.Unfortunately for Hal, he's not the first person to have that idea.
Relationships: Alan Scott/Ted Kord (Mentioned), Guy Gardner/Ted Kord, Hal Jordan/Ted Kord, John Stewart/Ted Kord (Mentioned), Kilowog/Ted Kord (Mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	With Friends Like These

Hal would never have thought that Guy was capable of having a crush. Well, before, when he was a sweet man, it would have been possible. For a time, all Guy had been capable of was fighting with people, so it was definitely an improvement in any case. 

But still, Kord? Kord with his weight problem, who could fill a room with inappropriate laughter. They had been on the same team, so it wasn’t like Hal didn’t know when, but how? At what point during Guy’s intermittent murderous rages, and Kord’s pranks that had a tendency to go way too far... would Guy ever have picked up positive feelings for the man. He’d tried to ask Guy once, but all that resulted in was a snorted “Super Buddies,” which did not help at all. 

He decided that the two must have just become closer when he was dead and left it at that. At least, that was until Guy indicated that he was planning on telling Kord about his feelings. 

There was really only one thing to do in that situation, what any good friend would do. He was going to fuck Ted Kord and leave Guy with the sloppy seconds. 

The first thing he needed to do was check where the man lived, and luckily, there was a record in the Justice League files, the ones that only the founders were able to access. He just needed to access the Watchtower to do so. 

He glanced through the records, taking note of the Chicago address, and moved to stand up. Only for the door to slide open with a hiss. The Martian Manhunter took one glance at the screen and sighed. “If you’re planning on making a recommendation for the team, I must insist that you do not bring his partner in too. I have had quite enough of the duo.” 

“That’s not,” Hal paused, wondering how much he should tell the alien, how much he knew already, “would you recommend Kord for the League?” He found himself asking. 

J’onn thought for a moment. “His skills are nothing to scoff at, but either Aquaman or Hawkman would likely murder him early on his first day. Perhaps both at once.” He narrowed his eyes at Hal. “You said it wasn’t League business. It had better not be what I think it is.” 

Of course, J’onn was protective of his old team, and he wouldn’t want Hal sleeping with one of his boys. It was going to happen anyway, though. “Apparently Guy has feelings for him, I wanted to have a talk with him first.” 

Hal had never seen someone choke on their own tongue out of shock before, and it was a strange sight. J’onn made a strangled noise in his throat. “Excuse me,” he said when he’d finally righted himself, “I need to take care of some business.” Then he swished out of the room. 

What that probably meant was that he was going to yell at Guy for a while. Apparently, the thought of Guy Gardner fucking a teammate he had a soft spot for was worse than the thought of Hal doing the same.

* * *

By the time Hal had arrived at the building in Chicago that Kord lived at, it was already dark, and he had a hard time convincing the security officer to let him up, especially given that Kord wasn’t answering his intercom. Hal had only been able to get upstairs by sneaking up when a blonde woman stopped off at the security booth to complain about something. It was strange, seeing a security officer that cared about the residents of his building. Kord really must have been rich. 

When he got to the top floor, though, Blue Beetle didn’t answer his door either, and that was when Hal started to get worried. 

Making a construct with his ring, he jimmied the door open. Stepping into the cool, air-conditioned apartment. 

The lights were on, but he couldn’t find Kord anywhere. Concern growing more and more by the second, he checked every room in the place, all of them were empty. 

The only room left was the bedroom. Carefully, Hal pushed open the door and glanced inside. 

Kord was stretched out on the bed, lying face down. He was naked. Hal would have guessed that he was asleep, apart from the fact that he would make little whimpers periodically. His legs were spread, and even from the door, Hal could see that his hole was gaping, unable to close, and he had been stuffed full of cum. Hal was starting to think the little bulge of his stomach wasn’t excess fat, and that, instead, the amount of semen that had been pumped into him had distended his stomach. Hal swore. Despite everything, the sight was extremely hot. 

“Oh,” Ted glanced back at him, he sounded dazed. “You’re the second Green Lantern. Well... I guess in this situation you’re the fourth Green Lantern but-” he trailed off, giving a soft little giggle. 

“Other people have been here?” Hal asked, realizing too late just how stupid he sounded. 

Luckily, Kord nodded. “Your boyfriend was first.” 

Hal blinked, then it hit him. “John? We’re not-” 

Blue Beetle didn’t even bother to acknowledge that statement. “Then there was... the silver fox, the first Green Lantern.” 

Alan. But that didn’t really explain the gape. 

“Then,” Kord blushed suddenly, “Kilowog. He’s... really really good, isn’t he?” 

“He is,” Hal nodded in agreement. Apparently, he had been the last person who found out about Guy’s crush, and the others had beaten him here. “So you... enjoyed yourself then?” 

Kord nodded. “If this is some sort of Lantern ritual, I might not be as tight as I was, but you can... go ahead if that’s what you’re here for.” 

Hal didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled his cock out, climbed on the bed, and slipped it into that gaping hole. His first thought was... yeah, Kord was way too loose, even as he pushed into him Hal wasn’t getting any friction at all, all he was doing was fucking into a wall of lukewarm alien semen. It flooded back in around his cock, surrounding it, and maybe, just maybe, fucking into that mess wasn’t so bad. 

“Jesus,” he hissed, “you might not even be good enough for Guy at this point, we might have to take you to Oa, and just let the whole Corps at your loose hole.” 

Kord nodded eagerly, which probably meant that Kilowog had been just that mind-boggling. He imagined Kord panting, whining, as a cock that was twice the size of even the largest human man’s was pushed inside his ass, his blissed-out expression when the alien bottomed out. How he looked when literal gallons of cum, built up during the universe’s longest dry spell poured into him. 

Fuck, the other Lanterns would love this man, and maybe, maybe if Guy was good, they could let him have the last turn of the day. 

That thought had him tumbling over the edge, and Hal grunted, spilling even more semen into the already overstuffed Beetle. Then, he snuck out the window. Didn’t want to accidentally bump into Guy on the way back down. 

* * *

That was a good decision since Guy barged his way into Kord’s apartment just ten minutes later, he would have knocked, but the fact that the door had been forced open left him feeling just slightly worried. 

“Guy?” Kord asked from the floor, he had been trying to make it to the bathroom so that he could clean himself up, but his legs had given out on him partway there. 

Guy snarled, snapping the flowers in his hands in two. His face was murderous, and Ted had a feeling that he’d made every wrong assumption when coming to the conclusion he just did. “You should calm down. You’re not thinking straight.” 

“Damn straight, I’m not thinking straight!” The redhead snapped. “Who did this?! I’ll fucking kill them!” 

Yeah, he definitely had. Someone, Hal probably, had forced open Ted’s door, and Guy assumed that a stranger (or a group of strangers) had broken in and taken advantage of him. The funny thing was, Ted wasn’t sure that the explanation of what had really happened would make Guy feel any better. 

He told him anyway, trying as hard as he could to avoid pissing the man off further. 

He failed. “Jordan!” Guy screamed at the skies. “I’ll kill him!” 

He was gone a moment later, leaving Ted with a ruined bouquet of flowers, and a world of confusion.


End file.
